Hello book friends,
I have the PERFECT book for you all today, prepare for laughs and mortification a-plenty!
🅳🅸🅲🅺 🆃🅰🆂🆃🅴 🅸🅽 🅼🆈 🅿🅰🅻🅼, 🆂🅻🅴🅰🆉🆈 🆂🅻🅴🅰🆉🆈 🅷🅴
🅱🅴🅽🆃 🆈🅾🆄🆁 🅳🅾🅽🅶
Ok while you are listening to this book, and definitely listen to get the best effect, please do the following:
Do not hold anything breakable in your hands, you will likely drop it, or throw it in the air when you gasp and put your hand to your mouth, imagine accidentally stabbing yourself in the eye? PUT DOWN THE KNIFE
Have plenty of Kleenex to hand, as you will most certainly cry laughing.
If you have to listen to this one in public, try not to shout Nooooooo too loud and scare the other shoppers in the supermarket.
You will cringe, you will laugh hysterically, you will feel mortified on Heidi’s behalf, but you will absolutely love the bones of that goofy girl, I promise!
Heidi is a Kindergarten teacher in Minnesota, who has unfortunately been laid off, she is sweet and innocent, so when she gets a new job at an audio studio, she has a bit of a shock when she listens to one of the narrators recording a naughty erotic book.
Oh the horror, Heidi’s idea of a romance book is something that is nice, polite, and fade to black, she can’t even say a dirty word without blushing.
Her hot new neighbour gets her thinking that in order to ask him out, she needs to be able to pluck up the courage to do so, and as the studio are throwing out some old recording equipment, Heidi seizes the opportunity to ‘broaden her horizons’ and get those dirty books out on air…the thing is, she can’t even say the words.
After a drunken evening alone, she finally has drunk enough dutch courage, and “Heidi’s Discount Erotica” is born, with not so brilliant results.
I laughed so much at this book, the things that go wrong for her are just incredible, whether that is being scratched to pieces while hiding in a bush from her neighbour Brad, or the ‘Talk to Text’ the “Dick Taste in my Palm” sentence above which didn’t sound anything like that when she narrated it, but who checks their texts before they send them??
As per all of Tara Sivec’s books, her secondary characters are always perfect, and this book was absolutely no exception.
Heidi’s parents were almost as funny as she was.
I’m not sure who’s idea it was for Andi Arndt and Tara Sivec to write a book together, but whoever it was, they should definitely do it again, it was just pure genius.
Narration by Andi Arndt was just incredible, and her Minnesota accent for Heidi was apparently spot on, being from the UK it didn’t translate with me, and a few of the “Uff da!” references didn’t make sense, but from what I can gather, it is spot on as she lived there for years.
About The Book
Cowritten by USA Today best-selling author Tara Sivec and award-winning narrator Andi Arndt, a hysterically funny, heartfelt romance – created specifically for the audio format!
Nothing good ever comes from drinking a box of wine alone. So when I decided to entertain my drunken self by setting up some hand-me-down podcasting equipment and reading the steamy parts from romance novels, I never thought anyone would actually listen. The fact that I admitted my huge crush on my sexy next door neighbor made the whole thing even more mortifying. But sometimes life surprises you, and that’s how my podcast, Heidi’s Discount Erotica, was born.
Now I, Heidi Larsen, a sweet former kindergarten teacher in Waconia, Minnesota, lead a scandalous double life reading erotic novels to the listening world. And with each episode, I find myself embracing my new alter ego more and more. Now I’m starting to feel more comfortable in my own skin and do things I never would have dreamed of – like kissing my neighbor.
Look out, Waconia, because Heidi’s on the loose! She’s in your ears, in your hearts, and down your pants…wait, that didn’t sound as good as it did in my head. Well, you get the picture, don’tcha know!